With the title of this, some of you maybe able to pick up what I’m laying down before even moving on to this post. Regardless, I want to discuss what a Schmedium is.
By definition in Urban Dictionary:
A Schmedium is a combination of a size small and medium worn by someone who should have a minimum of a large.
Usually worn by a male.
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Exhibit A:
Schmedium Wearer Spotted at Local Basketball Game
You may be wearing a Schmedium if…
1. …you raise your arms above your head and we might get a peek of your belly button.
2. …you’re standing at the back of the bar and your back muscles are viewable to the front of the bar.
3. …a local t-ball league player could wear your shirt…and it would fit.
4. …you have to pull down the “sleeves” of your t-shirt every few minutes.
5. …the brand of your shirt is written across your chest in 4 inch letters (which is bad enough in itself), but the letters are hard to see with all the stretch lines across your chest… and you don’t have boobs.
6. …you wear large or XL boxer briefs…but somehow your shirt is a medium. Let’s face it, most guys aren’t pear shaped.
7. …you find yourself fantasizing about women’s crop tops.
8. …a little chest hair peeks out of your polo shirt through the buttoned area, not the top.
9. …you bought your shirt at Ed Hardy.
Why, might you ask, do I want to talk this topic so randomly? Welp, it’s because summer is here, and many a schmedium is being worn in and out of Hoboken. And it’s NOT COOL.
That is why I would like to propose the Summer Schmedium Hunt.
Hoboken Girl’s Summer Schmedium Hunt:
1. Walk Outside with your Smartphone.
2. Look Around.
3. Find a Male Wearing a Schmedium.
4. Snap a Photo of Said Schmedium.
5. Tweet me: @HobokenGirlBlog or Email the Pic to: hobokengirlblog@gmail.com
6. Pat Yourself on the Back for Taking Steps in Preventing Schmedium Wearing…
I’ll be tweeting and posting and retweeting the schmedium hunts you send.
…This is the first step of many in Anti-Schmedium awareness!